My hair reeks of homosexuality.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
