Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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