Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
