By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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