How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize