If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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