I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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