So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize