question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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