Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
