Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
