things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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