I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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