Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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