I love black thongs
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to calm my uterus...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
