I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
