we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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