Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
