so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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