Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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