worst night to have a conscience
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
