I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Never joke about your clitoris.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
