I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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