Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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