I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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