Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if only i could text you this smell
Fuck appropriateness.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
