i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
