he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
