i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Farmville is her only friend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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