I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
