We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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