my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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