my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
a search helicopter?!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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