my mouth tastes like poor choices
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize