Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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