I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
