There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
