I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
