Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
