ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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