No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize