The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
