East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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