YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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