you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
