Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My dick has a subreddit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
