There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
