after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
