yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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