David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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