Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
