i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
