I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
