We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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