I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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