I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The air taste purple.
Randomize
