Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
