then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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