My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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