the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
