He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
