Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
